Refuse to stay silent - stand up to bullying

I will most probably write about this subject more in depth and at greater length one day (there is so much to tell and talk about) - but I just wanted to share a few words for now.  

I have just finished watching a recent 2012 documentary entitled "Bully" AKA The BULLY Project directed by Lee Hirsch.  This film centres around the subject of bullying in schools in the U.S.A. and follows the lives of several American teenagers, how bullying has affected them and their families, as well as talking about children who have committed and talked about suicide as a result of these horrible experiences.  This film really affected me and it made me think deeply back to my own childhood, my own days at school and about my own life.  Being silent when it comes to bullies and those who choose to belittle you, do you harm, make you feel small or low does nobody any good whatsoever!

  But once you finally stand up for yourself this may have a knock on effect and even make the situation worse for a period - all of a sudden, you are seen as the "bad guy" or even the bully.  And the bullies are now the "victims".  But we all know the truth!  You stand up for what is right, because these cowards need to know that you are not a punching bag, not a door mat and that they are no better nor bigger than you.

I am proud to say that I have always been one to welcome the new kid in class, that new person in the workplace, that girl/boy/man/woman who is perhaps a little different from others, speaks a different language or who is just full of life and not one of the sheep.  I have always befriended the "un cool" kid.  This was never really a conscious choice on my part, it is just the way it has always been and I would/will always stand up for anyone who I see upset, being done wrong, picked on or being left out.  

You are special, you are unique and talented.  You are SOMEBODY too.  Refuse to stay silent.  I was silent for far too long.  Do not give in to bullies - in all walks of life!  That's it for now. 

When I was a wannabee teen rock star

Me (in early 1994), as a 13 year old wannabee teen rock star Greig "Axl" Stott in Hong Kong​ being interviewed (with an American accent) in a short mocumentary I made with some of my old band mates and childhood friends.


ME: "Mick Wall, right.  He BLETHERS a lotta shit about us in Kerrang!​  You ever read it!?"

Paul MacDonald​ (interviewer): "No. I haven't..."

ME: "It's a really CRAP magazine.  Mick Wall, he's always talkin' bout Metallica​ being the best and Guns N' Roses being the real crap, y'know?" (in this instance, I dropped my right arm down to the ground, as if to illustrate how lowly Mick Wall ranked the band...)


There was no real script as such, I had an idea of what I wanted everyone to do, but I wanted it all to come across as natural, as if we were right there in the moment being interviewed, not knowing what questions were coming our way.  It was all improvised - I thought it worked and it was hilarious and amazing fun, we couldn't stop laughing watching it back over and over again.

This was all shot on my family's first ever HI-8 camcorder and I just loved carrying it around with me, capturing memories, sometimes to the annoyance of others, but it is what I just loved to do.

Me in Hong Kong as a 13 year old

The old VHS of this, I did have it and (touch wood) I pray that it is not lost forever and it turns up again one day (it's my own fault if I have lost it).  I do remember that I had it in my VHS/DVD combi in my parents' caravan, that was the last I remember of seeing it, just over 3 years ago.  I do wish we still had all the master tapes, but sadly we tended to record over the master tapes each time we used them again (I know, I know...), be it on a family trip or event etc...

Stanely Fort - family apartment blocks.  We lived on upper level, the smaller 3rd block from left

Though I have memorised the interviews, word for word!  I will maybe write down a wee transcript (while it is still etched in the brain), just so I have the memoirs at least.  The video featured the interviews, out takes and also us performing/miming a live version of the Guns N' Roses song "Don't Cry" in one of the play parks in our old stomping ground of Stanely Fort, Hong Kong - a military base where we lived on the south side of Hong Kong Island.

We even had some extras in the background, with two of our girl friends standing up beside a lamp post, lit up by the beam, as if they were ladies of the night.

Memories - perhaps the greatest gift that one person can give to another.

Thanks to all those involved on this particular evening including;

• Kevin Stott (would be dancing drummer, "Matt")
• Gary Keith (Guitar, "Slash")
• Scott Cameron (Guitar, "Gilby")
• Paul Laing (would be acoustic guitarist/bass, "Duff")
• Andrew Waddell (steady cameraman)
• Paul MacDonald (Interviewer)
• Ashley Stephen and Kelly Laing (our "bitches" and ladies of the night)

Will share many more memories real soon....


**By the way, Stanley Fort is also where they filmed scenes from the Jean Claude Van Damme classic Bloodsport (1987) and popular British TV drama Soldier Soldier Season 2 (1992) among others.

Military and training sequences were filmed for Bloodsport at Stanely Fort (1987).

Mr Howatson - a good man, a teacher and a positive role model

I was thinking just the other day about someone who was very inspirational to me for a short period when I was a kid at school in Berlin, Germany.  I lived in Berlin for over two years, from early 1987 to early summer 1989 (just before the wall came down).  My father was a solider serving in the 1st Battalion The Black Watch Regiment and we had just moved to Berlin after living in Edinburgh for a wee while.  

  Despite being just 6 years of age, this was to be my 3rd different school already in my young life - as exciting as being a kid in the army was, it was very unsettling also, but it is all I knew and this is what life was for me at this time.  I also got to see and live in lots of different places at such a young age, that many people might not even get to visit in their entire lifetime!  In my time in Berlin I attended Gatow First School, which was located inside R.A.F. Gatow (at the time, a British Royal Air Force Military Base).  

The front gates of RAF Gatow, Berlin - 1980's.

  Although aware of who he was, I never had Mr (David) Howatson as my teacher until after the summer of 1988 - but I knew of him and he knew of me also.  I came to Gatow First School with a disgustingly unfair reputation.  

  I had previously attended Colinton Primary School in Edinburgh - just saying the name makes me shiver and think quite negatively actually.  I don't want to go into it too much just now, but my school report from there, which was passed onto the head teacher at Gatow, read something along the lines of this;  "Greig is a very tall and strong boy for his age and very intelligent.  And he often uses this to his advantage and is sometimes violent towards his fellow pupils..."  I was SIX.  

  By the way, I was never VIOLENT.  I remember my own mother crying when reading this about me and I never realised until a few years after this, what the report actually said.  Because I was bigger than the rest, I used to always get groups of kids ganging up on me, calling me names and all sorts, because I was a little different (bigger and maybe quieter), I was a target and quite often I tried to ignore it.  But then I started to stand up for myself and more often than not, any kid that challenged me to a fight often ended up worse off.  This happened on several occasions - and I soon had a reputation for being a bad kid and was recommended to a child psychologist.  Because I was apparently just going around beating everyone up for no reason, of course! 

  I remember things used to happen around the school and I would get the blame!  I remember one incident in particular where someone threw a stone at a girl pupil and I was accused!  No idea why, but it seemed that people had it in for me, the head teacher in particular, can't remember her name, but my face most definitely didn't fit at that god awful school.  I remember being sat in school assembly in the hall one time and someone was poking, tickling me from behind and I was asking them to stop it.  Then the head teacher singled me out; 

- "Greig Stott!" - "What??", I said.  "he was tickling me, Miss.."  

And she came out with this;  

- "Oh, I can't wait until you leave this school!".  

  Totally humiliated I was in front of all the other children and it totally dented my confidence also.  I don't remember crying there and then, but I wanted to and I just wanted to be anywhere else, but there at Colinton Primary School.  Luckily it was only a matter of weeks before we left for Berlin.

As I said, my reputation had preceded me and I had got into my first fight in the school playground quite early on in my time at Gatow and I was called into the head teacher's office.  Mr (John) Hancock was his name.  He called me in and grabbed me by the arms and pulled me in quite forcefully and he shut the office door.  I immediately erupted into tears and was bubbling like the little boy that I actually was, scared and shaking.  What kind of school had I come to?  He then interrogated me about my last school and gave me a speech of how bad boys were not welcome at his school and that this kind of behaviour was not acceptable.  He then let me go.  Not a nice experience.  

  What a way to start my brand new school, I actually felt like a criminal, like I was imprisoned.  I was always threatened with "you are going to the bad boys' home" as a kid whenever I did something wrong or "misbehaved" and I thought, at that moment in time, maybe this is it.  Is this the bad boys; school?  All I ever did was stand up for myself.  Which is quite ironic - because of these experiences early on at school and standing up for myself, I then kind of went the opposite way as I got a bit older and started to bite my tongue a little more.  Which some people mistook as a weakness, an excuse to take advantage and walk all over you.  Perhaps I did let people walk all over me, at times and didn't speak out.  But whenever I did, I was the bad guy - not a nice person, as they were not used to me speaking up or sticking up for myself as much.  People still try to do this, take advantage - but I no longer accept this and take any crap no more.  You see, I HATE conflict and try my very best to avoid it.  I am not scared of much people physically, but I am frightened of conflict and getting into situations where a conflict may arise.  But sometimes there is just no getting away from the people who are just constantly digging, looking for a fight or argument.  I tend to be frightened of making mistakes, doing something wrong and I am more scared and worried about what certain people will think of me.  I have been like this for as long as I can remember really.  Certainly from like 5-7 years old and I still am to this day.  But I have my own young family to think of these days and I am trying my very best not to care too much about what others think, hard as it is.  Too much negative time and energy is wasted on these types of people.

Mr Howatson - had quite a presence about him, towered above most teachers and staff at the school with a big personality and a distinctive loud voice.  Well, it certainly seemed that way at the time and I remember feeling quite intimidated by the sight of him and actually made me shiver whenever I saw him coming near me or if he ever raised his voice.  I was this way for quite a while when around adult males especially, was very nervous and didn't trust many after experiences I had in my life up until then.

Ariel view of Gatow First School Berlin.

  I remember sitting in one of the corridors of the school, waiting to be attended to after I had got into a playground scrap.  Here comes Mr Howatson walking down the corridor (he wasn't my teacher at this time) and I was now feeling very nervous and rather scared, wondering what he was going to say or even do to me.  He approached and hovered above, looking down at me and said something along the lines of; 

- "Everything okay?" 

I didn't answer, I was scared.  

-"Come on, you can speak to me, is everything okay?  Have you been fighting?".  

  Nervously nodding my head; "Yes."  I said.  

- "Wasn't my fault, he started it...".  "I'm scared".   

He assures me; "now, now, there's no need to be scared, I'm sure it is not so bad, just keep your chin up and don't cry.  Okay?"  

I nodded my head and he walked on down the corridor.  That was my first experience of Mr Howatson and I thought to myself; he's not so bad after all - quite a nice man, actually.  So, that immediately made me feel a little better.

  So, my first year at the school passed and I didn't have too much to do with Mr Howatson, but I saw him in passing a lot and he always acknowledged and asked me how I was doing every so often.  And I always heard him sneezing in the class room down the block, he sneezed very loudly!  

- "Aaaatchoooo!"

Class photo from 1989 - sadly, I am not in this as I wanted to be with my sister who was in hospital.  Mr Howatson is at the back row on the left.  This was a good class with lots of very nice class mates.

  For term 1988/89 - I had Mr Howatson as my teacher and didn't quite know what to expect with him being my teacher and spending time with him in the class room every day.  Well, I could not have wished for a better teacher.  This man never judged me.  He treated me with respect, as an individual and encouraged me always in things that I did well in or showed a keen interest for.  It is amazing the confidence you can get from someone who believes in you, tells you that you are good at something and encourages you to keep at it.  I remember having a small grasp for short story writing as a kid and I also enjoyed sketching.  He said to me; 

- "you are really good at writing stories Greig."  

I remember having this huge grin on my face and I felt like I could do or write anything.  Also, as a class project, we were studying the German mining history and in particular we were concentrating on the period where children were used as cheap and effective labour.  It was terrible what went on, but very interesting all the same.  I took another piece of work to Mr Howatson's desk.  He took a close look at it - a sketch, taken from an image that I saw in one of the books that we had in class.  It was an image of kids working down in the mines, I found this image very powerful and just wanted to do my own drawing.  He liked it and smiled; 

- "You really like this work about the mines, don't you Greig?".  

I smiled and nodded my head.  

- "well done, that's really good, Greig."  

  Again, that made me feel so good, for someone to believe in you, encourage you, make you feel that what are you doing is actually of value and worth something.  God, I wish I still had that sketch.  I would truly treasure it now, I really would.  But, like so many of my things, moving around with the army and moving house, changing schools every year or so, it got lost or thrown out, sadly.  Doesn't matter how bad or good it was. The fact that the sketch and that moment is an inspiring and vivid memory for me, is all that matters.  Maybe I will try and do another one sometime.

Children were useful and cheap labour on the mines, working long hours.

  He was also a huge football fan and he was a massive fan of Nottingham Forest - he was the first Nottingham Forest supporter that I ever met and we often talked about football, which was fun also.  Other memories include Mr Howatson's love of reading the series of Jeremy James tales by David Henry Wilson to us in class.  I wonder if he continued to read them in this latter teaching years?  

Beside The Sea with Jeremy James by David Henry Wilson

  
  Also, our school trip in 1989 to the town of Cuxhaven in North west Germany - where we went for a few days.  The trip was such great fun and Mr Howatson documented a lot of the trip by video.  Back at school, after the trip, we all sat down to watch video clips taken on the trip and it was upon watching these videos, that I realised what a funny man Mr Howatson was also, with a great sense of humour.  I would absolutely treasure a copy of these videos now, would be truly amazing to see again.  I never even thought to ask or mention for a copy back then...

  It was actually inspiration from this that I took when I first properly used a camcorder as a young teenager in Hong Kong.  I was inspired by his manner behind the camera, with his cheeky documentary/interview techniques.  

I remember, I played a part in the school play, The 12 days of Christmas - and Mr Howatson was being interviewed for the BFBS Radio Station (the radio station for British Forces abroad) and he was complimenting me on my attitude;  

"There are some great kids here at this school and some real talent.  That big lad, Greig Stott - he is just great, really wonderful..."  

You know, to hear things like this from someone who believes in you, encourages you, just gives you so much confidence and belief in yourself - particularly when I never had that many positive role models in my life at that time, nor until this day.  People like Mr Howatson do not come along very often and I will never forget him.

  I feel very sad to think that I never saw or heard from Mr Howatson again.  A man who was such a positive role model in my life, albeit briefly.  I guess that is the downside of being brought up in the military, making friends, meeting good people, then having to jump ship, move on and (in most cases) never see that person again. Sad really...

Mr David Howatson.

  So, as I said, I was thinking of him the other day and just decided to put his name on a search on the internet and I came across an article about him on the Nottingham Post website.  It was here that I read that he had just recently retired (2012) and I was absolutely delighted for him that he continued his teaching career and went on to a successful career becoming a head teacher in his own right.  Was so happy to read about him again and if you are reading this Mr Howatson - I would love to hear from you again, I am sure many, many pupils and fellow colleagues have their own positive experiences and stories of you and you have proven an inspiration to many more.  You may not even remember me that well at all, but I am hopeful that you will at least remember my name.  All the best to you Sir and I hope that this blog finds you in good health and happiness.  Greig Stott.